Made From Scratch
My mother never let me help much in the kitchen. As a result, my cooking ability was practically non-existent when I got married. But, I did remember mother mentioning that she did make cakes, pies and other things from scratch. So my first trip to the supermarket was to buy some scratch. I found the isle that read baking items and spent a good 15 minutes looking at everything from vegetable oil, sugar, flour and chocolate without seeing a sign of scratch. I was sure it wouldn’t be with the pickles or the meat. I asked the clerk if they carried scratch. He looked at me funny and finally said, “You’ll have to go to the store on the corner.”
When I got there it turned out to be a feed store. I thought it rather strange, but I decided cakes were food. “Do you have scratch?” I asked the clerk. He asked me how much I wanted. I suggested a pound or two. His reply was, “How many chickens do you have? It only comes in 20 lb bags.”
I really didn’t understand why he mentioned chickens, but I had heard mom say she made chicken casserole from scratch. So I bought 20 lbs and hurried home.
My next problem was to find a recipe calling for scratch. I went through every page of my lovely “Better Homes and Gardens” cook book – wedding gift. I looked and looked for a recipe using scratch. There I was 20 lbs of scratch,and no recipe.
When I opened the scratch, I had doubts that a beautiful, fluffy cake would ever result from such a hard looking ingredient. I hoped that the addition of liquids and heat the result would be successful. I had no need to mention my problem to my new husband. He had mentioned early in our marriage that he loved to cook and would gladly take over anytime.
One day he made a pie and when I told him how good it was, he said he had made is from scratch. That assured me that it could be done.
Being a new bride is scary and when I found out he made pies, cakes and even lemon pudding from scratch…well, if he made all those things from scratch, I was sure he had bought a 20 lb bag of scratch also. But I couldn’t find where he stored it, and I checked my supply. It was still full!
At this point I was ready to give up because all the people knew about scratch except me. I decided to try a different approach.
One day, when my husband was not doing anything I said, “Honey, I wish you’d bake a cake.”
He got out the flour, sugar, shortening, eggs and milk, but not a sign of scratch. I watched him blend it together, put it into a pan, and slide it into the over to bake.
An hour later, as we were eating the cake, I looked at him and smiled and said, “Honey, why don’t we raise a few chickens?”
Rodezzy, Fiber Artist
Replies
Giggling and giggling at this, thanks so much, ha ha ha Mary
This reminds me of a story I was told of a women who decided she wanted to sew. She bought a pattern and the fabric and notions mentioned on the envelope back,went home and read the pattern directions. The directions kept referring to "Notches" Well, she didn't have any notches, they weren't listed on the envelope back, so she went back to the fabric store and had to ask the clerk for a package of notches!!!
Absolutely delightful. My school is 85% non english speakers. I am constantly amazed at their courage to daily uncover a new culture. This type of confusion is their everyday experience. It will be lovely to be able to share with them that we are all confused about what is meant, anytime we venture into a new area of experience, never mind a new culture. I will share this story with them (they all love print as they can go home with their electronic translators to get the first sense of it) first explaining to them what "from scratch" means. I think they will enjoy being able to laugh with us at ourselves. Thanks Scrubble4
Love it, Rodezzy! Cute story! I've actually heard of that happening to people who have no idea about how to cook - they really don't know what "scratch" is.
Gloria
This was an absolutely cute story! I loved it. LOL. : )
Very funny! It reminds me of a recipe I have for Black Pepper Cake.
A bride wanted to bake her new husband a cake, so she got his favorite cake recipe from her Mother-In-Law. The recipe called for 3 tsp of bp. What's bp? She rummaged through her pantry and found it. Black Pepper, of course.
Well no. It was supposed to be Baking Powder.
Berna
This reminded me of someone I knew that would probably be in her late 50's by now. When she was first married, her husband said he liked paprika on his roast beef, she messed up and slathered the roast with cinnamon instead! I think the Black Pepper cake might actually taste better than that!
I just found this thread - Makes me double up laughing!
One day, while I was still in grade school, I was reading a cook book and decided that "Chocolate Mocha Cake" looked yummy, and proceeded to gather my "scratch".
Well, it called for something like "2 tablespoons - coffee". I didn't yet recognize the cosmic difference between "wet" ingredients and "dry' ingredients, so I got out the can of Folger's, duly measured out 2T., dumped it in the batter, and proceeded to bake as directed.
Hmmm - Very crunchy Mocha Cake, we had that night! TeeHee -
Kharmin
Sometimes the obvious, well just isn't, obvious! Too cute! A common mistake with recipes and instructions. The first top I made all on my own looked a little odd, because I did not realize that the double notch meant the back of the sleeve, and put the sleeves in backwards. It was loose enough that the fit of the little pop top did not matter. It was not until much later that I realized. Tee hee My mother used to buy in bulk. She stored everything in extra bins she picked up at yard sales. For some reason, she stored bulk salt in an old sugar container. The label fell off the container. Us kids knew the difference between the containers by colour. My dad decided to bake sugar cookies, and not realizing that the sugar container was one colour and the salt another, ended up making salt cookies. Cathy
Edited 9/8/2008 8:55 am ET by ThreadKoe
There was a TV commercial about the same thing. Very Funny!!!!!!!! ROTFL
They sure tasted funny too! tee hee Cathy
I had a friend that used to sell Pampered Chef kitchen gadgets. If you've ever been to a PC party, you know that they demonstrate the products by making goodies for the refreshments. Well, she was making a dessert pizza and grabbed the salt instead of the sugar for the cream cheese frosting--EWWWW!!! Not only did she make a really embarassing mistake, she got to do it in person in front a whole group of women!
I belong to a sorority, and was sitting at the head table. When they announced my name, I stood up. My heel slipped and caught on the hem of my skirt. I fell backwards into the curtain behind me, which flew apart, revealing a pair of french doors, which I then fell backwards through, into the other dining room, startling the other diners! I landed flat on my back. I couldn't help myself, I started to laugh! I picked myself up off the floor, brushed myself off, excused myself to the diners, and shut the doors. I closed the curtains, turned around, beet red! I nodded my head to the roomful of women, there were 4 chapters there, said I was OK and sat down! Ya can dress me up, but ya can't take me no place! Cathy
Edited 9/8/2008 5:08 pm ET by ThreadKoe
That is hysterical! I'm glad no one got hurt.
Oh, Cathy, now that is funny. I'm glad you weren't hurt, but I surely wish I'd been there! Several years ago I had an old metal saltine cracker can in my cabinet that I painted white. I use it to store bulk salt in. I do not know what my DH attempted to make, eat or drink that required sugar. I never asked. I just know that one evening I opened the cabinet and there was that can with the word "SALT!", including the exclamation mark, written in very large capital letters with a black marker.
Sounds like a scene from a comedy movie. So these things do happen in real life. ROTFL
Thank the heavens you are all right!
Nothing more than my pride was hurt. Yes, it was funny, right out of Keystone Kops. All I could think of at the time was something out of some novel I had read that said that a Lady in a moment of embarrassment should deport herself as if nothing had happened. AS IF! Just a note tho, I have a very large, unique, enthusiastic laugh. Cathy
Well, I bet everyone remembered your name.....and I'm sure you came out of it O.K.
Wanna bet the patrons in the "other" dining room talked for days about the drunk woman who came sprawling through the doors while they were dining? Ohmygawd, girl, I get such a vivid visual of this little episode, and I can't quit snickering. Thank you for sharing this embarrassing moment. One person's embarrassment is another's laugh of the day.
That is the worst part, I was SOBER! Cathy
That's the kind of thing that happens in a Sit-Com and the critic says is just too, too, phoney. Your description was very entertaining. Some people have no sense of humor about themselves. They're boring and not much fun.
Thank you so much for the story, the tears are just rolling down my cheeks, I'm sorry to laugh at you, but your story is great, the way you handled yourself was wonderful. All of these stories are wonderful, the more so because they are all real. A good laugh is really good for the soul. thank you all
Oh, Cathy - how very Lucille Ball of you! Hilarious! & embarrassing! Thank heavens you weren't hurt & could laugh about it. As JunkQueen said, people probably talked about that for ages (they probably would never believe you were sober)! Isn't there an old saying like, "I ate lunch off that story for years." You handled it all like the proper lady you are (your mother would have been proud of you :). Thanks so much for sharing - it was a bellylaugh :)
Gloria
Yes, that was a full tummy laugh you bet. I'm still giggling about that one.
Absolutely love your story.....it tops this one about my daughter. When she was about 3, my husband brought a friend/coworker by the house. My daughter immediately asked the visitor, "You want a piece of cake? Momma just made it from scratch!" Then suddenly with a puzzled look on her face , she looked at me and asked, "Momma, what IS scratch, any way?"
It was a story I found, not me. giggle. But it was so cute, I had to post it. I love yours though.
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